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Is Obedience Worth It?


“… there is nothing right with me. Everything is wrong. Life is wrong. I’ve tried to fix things but nothing can be fixed. Nothing is helping and I feel trapped. I am covered with guilt and I long for life.” – Candice Gibbons, 15 years old, October 29th Journal Entry


Let us dissect the main character of A Time to Trust: fifteen-year-old Candice. Here she was, living an outwardly successful life. She was tall and average, with shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes, living life with a dog at her side and a walking stick in hand. She was a dancer with many friends and activities. She loved the idea of being a high schooler: driving, dressy formals, all-night parties, and wearing a graduation gown.


But even as we read about her happy life, there is an underlying level of distress: “I feel this feeling of guilt… every year I try to overcome it but it keeps getting worse … I dread something far deeper, darker, and draining … I am so distraught.” (October 31).


I grew up in a Christian community. More directly, a pastor’s daughter. I believed there was a God because of the obvious supernatural presence of good and evil in the world. I had seen many miracles as a child and even experienced some in my own life. Accepting there were powers greater than us was common knowledge that I thought would be best to believe sooner than later. But I assumed religion was a make-believe game to make me feel good.


Then, at fifteen, it hits me we have to conscientiously choose whether to serve good or evil. You can't just float through life. Fairy tales tell us to follow good, of course. It’s what makes sense, it’s how you end up with happily ever after. Still, religion, this whole “follow God” thing, felt like a mask to say, “Never mind your current frustration, just believe in this ideal world!” I played along, but I felt like a hypocrite, reading one thing and acting another. I was discontent in life. What was really wrong?


I feel sick because I love the world too much.” (October 29).


I was half-way following God. But what was I supposed to do? Stop enjoying life? With so much on my mind, so much to look forward to, it seemed impossible to leave what appeared comfortable and fun in exchange for actually following what I knew was right - and did it really mean leaving fun for misery? That doesn't make sense.


God is good. He wants the best for our life. It is not a matter of leaving our happy life to accept miserable one, rather, it is leaving a comfortable jail cell to enter real, abundant life. When we want God to confirm to our own way, we concoct a distorted image of Him, thinking we can do what we want, and He’ll just have to get used to it. Logically, this does not make sense. If he is really God, the most powerful being in existence, it is not a matter of what we want Him to be, but who He is. We cannot change Him; we can only fool ourselves into thinking we can serve Him on our terms. Not only are you intellectually lying to yourself, but you are dangerously messing with your eternity. No. it’s not worth it.


This is confirmed through the Old Testament Book of Numbers when the Israelites refuse to serve God wholeheartedly, and they suffered the consequences. We see a common theme throughout Scripture of complete obedience equaling complete blessing, like in Job 22:23: “If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored – so clean up your life.” What did I write in my journal entry? “I long for life.” This directly correlates to Ezekiel 20:21: “They refused to keep my decrees and follow my regulations, even though obedience would have given them life.” I had to come to acceptance that I could not live for the Lord half-heartedly, on my terms, because that was a downward slope. Serving God results in living your best life.


Serving good or evil is unavoidable. It is a conscious choice to be considered on the highest level. As you figure out for yourself what you believe and who you will serve, I encourage you to think carefully and choose wisely, because living ignorantly will cost you everything.


At fifteen, as I accepted this, my life was altered in a completely unexpected way.


Read more about the unexpected consequence tied to Candice’s obedience of trusting in God in A Time to Trust.

1 comment

1 Comment


kgracelouise14
kgracelouise14
Feb 22, 2022

This is deeply powerful!! Thank you for your authenticity and inspiration. The way of the cross is the way to life!

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